gallery

photopile thing of max, rachel, and myself. not sure if i like these. i might make different ones later. who knows.

text from left to right:

"the hole she left in my chest is a gaping wound that everything falls into. i dont think i can clean this over before it gets infected some days. what am i even supposed to do without her? how do i exist all on my own? who the fuck even am i now?"

"i miss herrr i miss her so much i miss her so bad what the fuuuuck what the fuck is wrong with the world"

"am i just replacing one emotion with the next? my brain doesn’t want to be sad so it just decides to be angry instead? i don’t even know what i’m angry at most days. rachel? nathan? david? god? i don’t even believe in the last one but i think all of it solidified that. no god that claims to be kind or good would let some shit like that happen to anybody. was his supposed plan for rachel all of that? was all of that set in stone before she was even born? was it set in stone when we met? how do i know where it all went wrong so that i can find something to blame? all i need is something to blame, and then maybe i can feel better."

"i don’t know what’s wrong with me most days. i miss rachel like a bitch and as a result what? i’m mad at her? like this is all her fault? that doesn’t make any sense. it gets so fucking weird in my head sometimes. it isn’t her fault but i get so mad at her i could put a hole in my bedroom wall. i get so mad at everything that i feel like a ticking timebomb."

the rest of the text is lyrics to the song elegy for elsabet by the weakerthans